Monday, June 30, 2008

More O Ring Woes

Is it just me, or what.  I mean, can I be the only person on this planet who is O ring challenged? Ok, here's what happened.  

Now, nice kid that I am, I am ordering O rings for myself and Chris because she lives in Medieval Scotland where they are just getting around to the discovery of rubber.  They have not yet arrived at O rings.  Now, IMHO, If they are smart, they will stick to sealers for canning thistles (or whatever you can in Scotland) and gloves.  

So, I got to the wonderful folks at and order O rings.  HAH!  After many many abortive tries ( from companies unnamed) at getting nice fat little O rings that fit on 2mm cord, I succeed.  What came in my envelope are actually plump fat chubby cute little O rings that...FIT!  I actually put them on my 2mm cord and, will wonders never cease?  They fit.  I heave a big fat sigh of relief.  I am a happy girl.  My O ring hex is over and I am free of its curse.

Right.  I gleefully rip open my next envelope which announces that I have 4.5 mm O rings.  They are going to be closures.  Sure they are.  Who lets me out in public?  These O rings can fit around the neck of a giraffe.  

Now, Chris, who lives in Medieval Scotland where they don't have rubber, thinks closures are a scream.  She sent me directions.  Put rubber cord A into O ring A.  The directions even had pictures so I wouldn't get confused.  Dear sweet girl that she is, she sent a follow up email inquiring if I needed translations and/or help understanding.  We are NOT amused. Harrumph, I say.  WE have rubber here.  It's not my fault if they insist on labeling it in metric!  Oh God.  Do NOT get me going on metric.  I think I already posted about this.  Not only am I O ring challenged but I also have issues with metric.  I mean really,.. how am I supposed to know just how long King John's big toe was?  I am certain that is how they decided what metric ought to be.  You ever look to see how big an inch is in metric?  Don't do it.  And who knows what other parts of King John they measured!

But, I digress.  Back to O rings.  So, my envelope is chock full of 4.5 mm (the size of King John's little toe nail, no doubt) and, naturally, they are way too big for my 2 mm rubber cord. Wouldn't you think that 1/2 an mm would be just right to hold 2 pieces of 2 mm cord?  No? You sure?

Ok, Life is still ok.  I email Robin (aka Ms. Satin Cord Store) who is sitting in Florida somewhere thinking life is grand if only the alligator would get out of her swimming pool.  The poor thing will get up in the morning ( Robin, not the alligator), toddle off to work only to find another email from the O ring challenged idiot in Honolulu.  I bet she'd rather have alligators.

I figure that between lots of dollars and many emails and several tries of mailing rubber back and forth across the Pacific Ocean and all of America, I will eventually get the proper sized O rings.  I am dreaming.  These things are in mm's.  They are not supposed to match anything in today's known world.  King John has been dead for about 800 years.  Scotland is smart not to get involved in this rubber thing.  Gorse.  I think they can gorse in Scotland.  No doubt Chris will enlighten me.  :D