Hot Water and Other Assorted Problems

What do you think? Most Americans have hot water? Well, I think so, too. Unless it involves this particular building in Honolulu. Almost 2 years ago they put in this new AC unit thing. It's a big hulking piece of machinery that lurks in the back of our building out of sight, mostly. Since it has been installed, we rarely have hot water. Now, why does the air conditioning hulk affect your hot water, you query. The answer is... nobody knows.

One fine day I turn on the water n our kitchen and lo and behold, the water coming out is lukewarm. So, I let it run a bit getting guiltier by the minute because Hawaii always has a water shortage. No joy. So, I get dressed and toddle out to the manager's office where I see him, sitting there unsuspecting.

Where is the hot water, I ask? He professes to be shocked that we don't have any and promises to go fix the problem. Ok, that's dandy. I go home. No hot water. By lunch I am back in the office along with half the other people in the building. OK, he'll call the Hulk people. You may as well know that this all occurred around last Christmas.

Fast forward to today. All this time we have had sporadic hot water. So, a few weeks ago we are going days without any hot water. Now, you gotta understand that this building has a maintenance fee that's more than the gross national average of most small countries. This is a building where the rents run from $1800.00/mo to $2500.00/mo. My friend in the midwest told me our maintenance fee is TWICE her mortgage for her 2 story 5 bedroom house. We are NOT amused.

So, I decide that I am going to go out daily and harangue the manager until we get some hot water. Each time I go there I get overwhelmed with stories about valves and shut offs and... get this... the weather makes a difference! We do not have solar heating, I bellow! No matter. He tells me that if it gets cloudy the Hulk can't make hot water. I guess it gets depressed when it can't get a tan or something.

I jump all over this. I tell him.. Manager Man, you seem to have forgotten that we live in HAWAII! It doesn't GET cold here. Or at least not cold enough to make our hot water disappear. Jeez. Ok, next day I get a different story.

Now it is because our unit is X number of feet from the Hulk and the hot water has to travel farther. WHAT! I smile sweetly and say, Manager Man, if I go out to the hallway and SPIT, I can hit the Hulk. Hmmm, I can see his wheels turning. He is out of silly stories for me. I go home and go back the next day where I overhear him telling another hot waterless person that it's because they are on the 8th floor. I can't stand it so I pipe in and say... hey! we're on the first floor! The neighbor is happy but Manager Man is most displeased with me. :D

The next day another neighbor is yelling at MM because she has to boil water to clean off her cutting board upon which she slices up dead things. I ponder telling her all about the joys of vegetarianism but decide that she is liable to slice ME up next. So, in the interest of good neighborliness, I keep my mouth shut. You all know how difficult that was. :(

Then the next day I wake up to find our two toilets happily burbling away with a zillion air bubbles. See previous post about weird toilets. MM tells me it is , no doubt, OUR plumbing problem. Mysteriously, the burbling goes away in 2 days.

Now it is a couple days ago. It's been beautiful hot sunny weather (so, where's our hot water, Manager Man?) I decide to go to the pool. We have this gorgeous pool area. The whole place looks like a fancy resort. Our pool is wonderful. So, B and I get into the water and... yep... you guessed it. The water is hot enough for a bath tub!

I start thinking...THIS is where our hot water is going? To keep the pool at 98 degrees? Yiikes. So, I go see MM. Oh, NO! The pool water temp had NOTHING to do with the building hot water. MM will fix the pool water. Miraculously, he does and the next day the pool is back to normal. And....I actually have some hot water. Of course this doesn't last long.

Now all this brings me to the fact that in one hour they are going to turn off all our water to fix the problem. Hah. And tomorrow, too. The sign says, basically, we're turning off your water for 2 entire days so MAYBE it will fix the hot water problem. Do you love this? Every day I expect to see hoards of angry neighbors in the lobby with their staves and pitch forks.

Good thing we don't live in England where they call pitch forks "garden forks". It's pretty hard to scared of a garden fork. "Watch out! Run! That guy over there is pissed and he will stab you with his garden fork!" Just doesn't have the same fear factor, do it?

Am I having fun yet?