Oh Brother or How To Alienate Your Neighbors

And so, I was sitting at my table happily brushing on my new Perfect Pearls powder (howz dat alliteration?) when, for unknown reasons, I dropped the jar. It went all over the place. On my flowers I was making, on my work table and all over my pants. Naturally, I yelled, "Shit!" at the top of my lungs. Sigh................. Wouldn't you know that the nice old Filipinos who live next door were passing by my window. They had been talking to each other. Upon hearing my pilau mouth... dead silence. Sigh............ I wonder if they will ever speak to me again? :D

The Pictures That Wouldn't Post

Ok, here are the pictures I couldn't post.  Here's our wonderful sink with the Mysterious Blob scar.  This is the true color.  The second sink is not good color but shows the treatment of the Blob with liver of sulphur.  Better but fixed.  The third picture is my moestones with the silver veins.  A much better picture than the one on my flickr and ArtFire.  And the last (or first) picture is Allie.  She does NOT like her picture taken.  Although, if the flash is off she is ok.  Isn't she a honey?  I love her.  I don't know where SOS was.  Usually, if the camera is out, Ipo is there.  :D

More Things of the Day

After the Cleaning Fiasco, I decided I should take a much needed break and stay at my clay table where I can't hurt myself.  So, I made some silver veined moestones.  And some other stuff I have yet to photograph.  

I am still in the middle of trying to fix The Mysterious Blob That Ate Our Sink. Dear sweet Kelli from www.objectsandelements.com is helping me.  The Liver of Sulphur helped somewhat but is awfully charcoal.  So, I need something else.  Keep your fingers crossed that Kelli can come up with the solution!

Hmmm, I was going to show you pictures but, for some reason, I can't post anything.  Maybe later.

The Perils of Thorough Cleaning

So, I says to myself, Self... we will clean the master bedroom and bathroom today.  This was yesterday that I had this thoroughly bad idea.  Now, as most of you know I am the Anal Retentive Queen of The Universe.  Thorough cleaning to me is the closets, the drawers, the whole thing.  It was drawers that got me in trouble.

Also, as many of you may know, I am married to Brian who is the world's biggest Hunnibunni. We've been married 21 years and I don't think I have ever heard him raise his voice.  At least not that I can remember.  Keep this in mind.  :D

Ok, Picture me in my cleaning clothes and headband.  This is SERIOUS cleaning here!  I get out the vacuum.  Ipo and Allie take one look and head for the closet.  This is good as SERIOUS cleaning and kitties just don't go together.  

I'm all set.  I empty the litter box then think I better vacuum up the 40 pounds of cat hair that live on the couch.  Not like I didn't get it all off 2 days ago.  Sigh....  So, I pull out the couch vacuum every square inch then decide to put on the stretchy fitted slip cover.  OMG.

You guys ever put on a stretchy fitted slip cover all by yourself?  What a hoot.  I find this little tag that says... Center Front.  And another that says... Center Back.  Ok, I can do this.

I put CF and CB where they belong.  Ok.  Now I have a mass of stretchy stuff all balled up in the middle of the cough.  Seams are all over the place but not a one where it looks like it belongs.  I fit one part over the arm.  The matching other side snaps off and returns to center.  Ok. I got do the other side.  THAT one snaps off.  Meanwhile, the vacuum has not been on so Ipo figures it's safe to come out and *help*.  She gets on the couch.  And can't imagine why her mommy is screaming.  Get OFF there, you little hairball!  I JUST vacuumed!  She leaves in a huff.  I have to remove the new hair.  Ok, I finally get the two ends to remain on the arms.  I now have this mess that will not fit no matter what.  

After about 20 minutes of wrestling with the thing, it is finally on the couch.  Now, a small aside...

We have Allie, our black and white cat.  Allie's tail is black.  Luckily, she is also a sweet gentle kitty.

We also have these dark gray tubes of foam that you stuff down the sides of the slip cover to keep it from snapping off and decapitating you while you are watching a movie.

One day I hear B laughing.  I go and ask him why he's laughing.  One of the foam tubes has come out of hiding.  Allie is sitting next to him on the couch.  B dutifully decides to replace the foam thingie until he discovers that he is trying to stuff Allie's tail into the couch.  She is NOT amused and leaves.

Henceforth, the foam thingies have been referred to as "Allie Tails".  

Back to the covering job.  Now I have the cover firmly where it belongs and realize I have to put the Allie Tails in.  So, I go to the linen closet and what do I find but THREE Allie Tails. WHERE is the fourth?  Ms Anal Retentive couldn't possible have put one somewhere else.  I wouldn't be able to sleep!  I start thinking about my wine bottle.  It's 9AM.  I'm in trouble.  

So, I says, Self... we will go vacuum the drawers in the bathroom and clean them out.  They are full of hair.  I toddle into the bathroom figuring that the missing Allie Tail will just materialize while I am vacuuming the drawers.

I open the top drawer where B has all his contact lens stuff.  Now, I don't wear contacts so I am an ignoramus about how these things wrk.  I only know that they stick onto your eyeball like a squid.  

Well, in this drawer I find about 37 of those plastic containers you keep lenses in.  You know... They have a L and an R on them.  WHAT does one human need all those containers for?  It's like a warehouse for the things.  What to do with them?  

I will give them to Dimitri.  Dimitri is our nice manager man.  He's a sweet old guy (old being older than I) and takes donations to the Abused Women's Shelter for his church.  So, I am always giving Dimitri things for the shelter. So, I make a bag and decide they can have the containers.  I open them and look then, instead of putting the ones I looked in into the bag, I put them back on the counter.  You KNOW what's coming, don't you, Contact Wearers?

So, I am through putting things into the bag and I cart it to the front office where I give it to Dimitri.  

Fast Forward to B coming home.  He comes in, we do our Pilates and all is right with the world. Until shower time.  I am in the back bathroom when I hear him bellow, "Where are my eyes!?"  Oops.  I run into the bathroom and B is not really happy.  His contact container, in which his spare contacts were living, is gone.  Uh oh.  I have given away my Hunnibunni's eyeballs.  I fess up and toddle out to the lobby where I find Dimitri on the phone.  I tell him I need the contact cases and he says ok, they are downstairs in his apartment but he will get it and bring it to me.  

I wait and wait but no Dimitri who has told me he will go get the cases and bring them to our apartment.  So, I go back out to find Dimitri still on the phone.  I sit down to wait.  Now, you have to picture this.  I have just gotten out of the shower so my hair is all wet and I have on my "at home" clothes.  Brian calls my at home pants my "Clown Pants".  Of course nothing matches.  I look like a refugee from a third world war zone.  Dimitri kindly doesn't look and hangs up really fast.  He tells me he was talking to his girlfriend who has children problems.  

Her kids, of course are about 40.  Jeez.  To make this long story end, Dimitri finds B's lenses and gives me the case which I run back to B who opens it to find the solution has leaked out and he now has to stand there with the shriveled up thing in his hand while he feeds it liquid.

I drink copious amounts of wine.  And oh yeah... the 4th Allie Tail was in another closet.  WHO moves things when I'm not looking?  I keep a wine stock for a reaso, yanno.  :D

A New (to me) and Wonderful Site

Now, you are probably all laughing as I often like to tell you about sites I have dealt with that were great.  Well, I have another one.  Go visit www.objectsandelements.com.  Here's my story:

We have this gorgeous copper sink with a beautiful patina on it.  One fine day, out of the absolute blue, a nasty *slug trail* appeared on our sink. Something ate the patina off right down to the shiny copper.  We were distraught.  This is a gorgeous sink!  Anyway, I call the people we bought the sink from.  The sweet lady there tells me not to worry.  Eventually, (In our lifetime?) it will re-patina.  I don't want to wait.  So, I go looking for liver of sulphur, which is one of the ingredients that the company uses to patina copper.

I find Objects And Elements.  I call.  A wonderful person named Kelli speaks with me for a long time and listens to my tale of woe.  Woe is Moe.  :(  She gives me advice and is generally an all around terrific person.  She even takes my order on the phone.  Now, I can tell from the sound of everything that she is on her cell.  How's THAT for great customer service! Not only does she listen to a total stranger but offers to help as well.  I'm thoroughly impressed.  I send long distance smooches to Kelli.  If she doesn't own this company, they should give her a giant raise. I cannot begin to tell you how great it was to have someone in the know, listen then give educated advice.  And she never once made me feel like I was a *bother*.  Kelli gets the GOLD STAR award for customer service.  She also gets me as a returning customer and hopefully, some of you, as well!

So, today, I get my order.  I am so happy.  Tomorrow I will tackle the liver of sulphur.  In the box are several things.. my full order, a delightful hand written note from Kelli, who remembers my problem!  I am SO impressed.  I know that I am not her only customer.  And she even sent me a couple of free samples.  What a girl!  What a company!  

Now,this company has lots of cool things.  Besides Kelli.  So, if you are interested in wire work and all the accompanying *stuff*, glitter, resin... go check it out.  Kelli is terrific and the company is super!  They get my vote!  Go visit them...  www.objectsandelements.com.  :D

New Goodies

We have all been having fun making a Thing A Day for the clay forum.  Today I posted this.  It's the Solar System.  Well, part of it, anyway.  :D  And I made some new "Moestones" and some buttons.  All kinds of stuff.  Soon I am going to put a ton of beads on my Etsy.  peaking of shops... is anyone having trouble posting pictures on their ArtFire?  Even thought it says they resize, I can't get my pictures to post all of a sudden.

Allie

Everyone here is so used to hearing about Ipo aka SOS that poor little adorable darling Allie gets left in the dust.  This is a perfect picture of her in my closet.  It's probably why there isn't too much to say.  This is her second favorite pose.  Her first in with her face in her little nose bag.  :D

A Good Idea Gone Bad

Oh boy. This is one of those things that seems to happen solely to me. It started a few months ago when my friend Chris, in Scotland, sent me a black and white checker board cane. She knows I am cane challenged so she took pity on me. Now, this was a cool cane so I made several things using it. I sold most of them. It was such a nice cane that I was contacted by a woman (through Etsy) who wanted to know if I could make her some beads using that black and white cane. So, I thinks to myself, Self, you can do this. How hard can it be? I can make a cane.

I make a checkerboard cane. I have a couple miles of it. It was a nice cane. I make beads and send them off. The woman has not been heard from since. Sigh.............

So, now I have a couple of miles of cane left. :) Then, I am in my kitchen whereupon I discover a piece of aluminum foil. Where did this come from? It's one of life's little mysteries. It materialized in my cupboard. Those of you who know me, know full well that I am anal and do not have stray tin foil bits just laying around. I am the girl who irons her husbands handkerchiefs.

So, I crumple up the foil thinking I will throw it away. Then, I look at it and lo and behold! It looks just like an owl. Ok, I says, Self, put this on your table and make an owl from it. Ok, I do that.

Fast forward to my table where I sit, thinking ... Self, why don't you use that black and white cane then put flowers and leaves on the owl? Be cute, I think. I am demented.

This is one of those ideas that was perfect in my head. Reality was a WHOLE 'nother story. I make the owl and start getting twitchy. He is looking VERY much like a departed person that not a whole lot of people liked. I think, Self, put some leaves on its head. Maybe that will help.

It doesn't. My owl is looking more and more like this departed person. Oh NO! Actually, this is what I named the Owl. OhNo.

Please keep in mind that this was NOT supposed to happen. It was supposed to be a cute little owl. So, nobody send me mean emails, ok? I didn't mean it! Really! I'm INNOCENT! Yikes. Ok, you all get one guess as to who this poor owl looks like. And what should I DO with it?

We are NOT amused.

Reincarnation

Hah!  You think this is going to be some religious thing, don't you?  Heee.  It isn't finished reinventing itself yet but I thought I'd take the pictures anyway as I had to get my camera out for  the owl.  Sigh..............

Living In Fear

Hah, you think this is going to be some grim political thing, don't you?  :D  Fooled you!  :D  It is about cooking a plastic bangle and hoping I don't get poisoned by fumes or the thing doesn't melt in my oven.  Or explode.  Which will necessitate an army of helicopters doing a fly by to see what the problem is.  Don't get me started.

Now, this is what happened... I was strolling by this store that had signs on several boxes sitting in their doorway.  They said fun things like, "This bin $1.00!", etc.  Oh boy.  My hunnibunni says he will wait while I go see what loot I can haul away.  I am looking for inexpensive bangles so I can cover them with clay.  

So, I toddle into the store and peer into the $1.00 box.  HO!  Score!  In this box is a large collection of the world's ugliest plastic bangles.  I mean, who buys puce plaid over yellow? Gross.  I'm serious.  TRULY horrendous.  Now, not only are these things ugly as sin but they are ONE dollar as opposed to the original $7.00 price tag.  I chortle.  While I am chortling I look around to see that I am a MINIMUM of 40 years older than everyone else in the store.  Hmmm. What do I care if these teeny boppers don't like the old lady laughing at ugly bangles while scooping them up?  I wonder if the clerks behind the counter are even legal?  They look to be about 12.  Middle school drop outs, no doubt.  :(

Anyway, I take a bunch of bangles and dutifully go stand in line behind several young things who are buying clothing that no self-respecting hooker would wear.  Scary.  I think, do their mothers know what they're buying?  I guess they must as the kid has to get dressed in it, right? 

Not a one is buying puce plaid bangles.  Because I am so old and am buying puce plaid, the clerk babies are looking at me funny.  I grin at them and wave my puce plaid at them.  They quickly turn around hoping I will either learn to be socially acceptable or disappear.  Preferably both. Old people should NOT be allowed in public, yanno. 

My turn at the register.  The two kids stand there looking at me funny, chomping their gum.  I refrain from whipping out a mirror so they can see how remarkably cow-like they look.  I am so kind.  :)  One proceeds to ring my sale then tells me that I am welcome to come back in 3 days and already I have $5.00 to spend!  Yippee.  So, I ask her if they will have more puce plaid bangles.  She doesn't have a clue so I thank her and leave her in blissful ignorance.

Ok, I have just checked my oven.  The puce plaid is happily bonding to my clay, I haven't keeled over from fumes, no firemen are on their way, not a helicopter in sight... life is good.  :D

Faux Fun

Well, not faux FUN but FAUX fun.  :D  Somehow I got into making faux opals and was having WAY too much fun.  Then I got an order from www.brassbouquet.com and here is the joining of the two.  

Ipo

You all know I have the evyl kitty from hell.  Ipo, who loves nothing more than to torment me daily.  Well, I was taking pictures on the lanai the other day when she came to *help*.  I decided because she was sitting there so cute, I'd take her picture.  First one was...Oh, aren't I just TOOO cute for words?  The next one was... Again with the camera!  The last one was... The universe KNOWS I am cute, will you just QUIT with the camera already!?  :D

Faux Opals

Our clay forum is currently having a Thing A Day challenge.  So, every day we have to make one new thing to show.  This is my creation for today.  Everyone likes opals, no?  :D

Upon Murdering Your Own Self Slowly

Ok, someone tell me just what it is that makes us insane when it comes to the new year and exercise?  :::listening?:::::  

One of my clients gave me 2 DVDs of PILATES!  Yep, My pal Jean decided I needed to do Pilates. It is KILLING me to admit it, she's right.  However.  Let me just mention here that the wicked evyl man, Joseph Pilates, must have thought torture was a good thing.  You guys know how hard Pilates is?  Hunh?  Do ya?  It's... it's... oiks, I am at a loss for words.  HOW did THAT happen?  :D  I just want to say how hard this is.   Both being at a loss for words and the Pilates.  :)

Now.  I have been doing yoga.  Kundalini yoga... for years.  I think I'm in ok shape.  I know how to breathe.  Hah.  Mr. Pilates is sitting on his little cloud laughing his well toned butt off.  Do you know that Pilates breathing is completely opposite from yoga?  Do you care? :(

Let me just tell you how fun THAT is!  I'm dutifully following the gorgeous Ana Caban on my DVD.  Well, I am LISTENING to Ana but following the equally gorgeous Tara who is doing a very slightly easier version.  Minisculely slightly easier.  Exceedingly slightly easier. Practically non-existent slightly easier version.  And what do I hear?

"Ok, naval to spine... BREATHE! Ok, I can do that.  Except, Ana is saying breathe out now, through the mouth!  WAIT, I yell!  That's not how!  Ana laughs.  It IS how with Pilates.  It's kind of like tying your feet together then saying...ok...run!  Really stretch out those legs now!  Ana says breathe out.  Moe is breathing in.  Ana says LOOK at your naval.  Moe is looking at her 3rd eye, yoga style.  Jeez.  Who comes up with this stuff?  And, more importantly, who decides *I* have to do it?

So, today, my Hunnibunni is going somewhere afterwork so I think...I will do 2 Pilates DVDs.  I will be good.  The overall DVD and the flabby under arm one.  Sigh......

Ok, I do TWO DVDs.  I did the basic floor mat.  AND I did the Body Band.  Giant rubber bands designed to compress all the bones in your hands.   I have awful precognition that my BB will suddenly SNAP and I will be decapitated.  Or it will take out my vocal cords and I won't be able to talk.  YIKES!  

People wonder why I drink lots of wine.  Pilates is why.  Checker board canes are why.  Nope, not going there.

And then, while I am recovering from my birthday celebrations, one of my friends says... oh, Moe!  You oughta get on Facebook. Facebook?  I am CERTAIN this is for 14 year olds.  But... I could be wrong.  Ok.  I go look.  Now, you guys KNOW I am a computer dunce.  EVERYone else seems to be able to post pictures and stuff.  I have managed to post words.  Hopefully, they will go to the correct person.  It appears that all my clay pals are on FB.  Quite obviously it is NOT for 14 year olds.  Altho!  When you sign up there is this little window that says... are you in high school?  Jeez.  High school?  Well, I was 44 years ago.  Then.. are you in college?  a tad better but still... no.  I'm old, ok?  I have to check, "Other".  I notice they didn't have a section labeled, 'Crippled From Pilates"  I could have checked that!  High school.  The eeejits.

So, the end result of this day is this:  It is 4:23PM Hawaii Time.  I have made some clay things, polished a bunch of beads, done 4 loads of laundry, done 2 DVDs of Pilates, done various kitty related chores,  and wrote this.  I deserve wine!  I mean...HIGH SCHOOL???  I may never recover.  I'm lucky I remember the name of the high school I went to.  High school.  Do NOT get me started.  I could go on for days about people my age still talking about high school.

So... you think I'll be really sore tomorrow?

A Rose

My dear clay friend Anita gave me some pastel pigments to mess about with.  I finally got around to it and this is what I made.  Aren't those colors wonderful!  I will go search for the company that produced them!  Now I want them all!  I'm SUCH a junkie!

My Favorite Birthday Present

My girlfriend Pat know what a whacko I am.  She also knows I am insane over Legolas.  And she loves me in spite of it all.  So, she came over today to take me to lunch and give me presents.  :D  This is my all time favorite!  The poor baby is having some trouble with his swords but I can get past that.  What a great gift!  What a great friend!  Heeee.

Introducing TwinkleToes

The world is a mess, everybody is unhappy, life is not good for many, the news is bleak...SO!  I decided that we need something to make us all laugh.  Here is adorable little TwinkleToes singing and dancing just for YOU!

The Cool Ceiling Tile Site

Hi Everyone,

I forgot to mention the name of the site where we bought our ceiling tiles.  It is www.talissadecor.com.  This is a wonderful place, yanno!  They have zillions of terrific tiles and a really detailed explanation of how to put them up yourself.  I spoke with a nice guy named Vlad. Now, Vlad has this Russian name and a voice like one of the kings of France.  :)  He's super. VERY helpful man.  I think he is the North American manager or something equivalent.

Anyway, if you are looking for a great way to spice up a room and want high quality materials at VERY reasonable prices, I say go to see what Talissa Decor has to offer!  You will be glad.  :D

SOS and a Cool Necklace

Now, check out SOS.  Isn't she cute?  Little brat was sitting on my table trying to convince me that her fur in my clay was a good thing.  Sigh............  But... despite of Ipo's depredations, I am totally happy with this new "Moe Stone" necklace.  I love the colors and the fact that the bezel, which is also clay, looks like bronze.  Yay for me!  :D