Thursday, February 19, 2009

Living In Fear

Hah, you think this is going to be some grim political thing, don't you?  :D  Fooled you!  :D  It is about cooking a plastic bangle and hoping I don't get poisoned by fumes or the thing doesn't melt in my oven.  Or explode.  Which will necessitate an army of helicopters doing a fly by to see what the problem is.  Don't get me started.

Now, this is what happened... I was strolling by this store that had signs on several boxes sitting in their doorway.  They said fun things like, "This bin $1.00!", etc.  Oh boy.  My hunnibunni says he will wait while I go see what loot I can haul away.  I am looking for inexpensive bangles so I can cover them with clay.  

So, I toddle into the store and peer into the $1.00 box.  HO!  Score!  In this box is a large collection of the world's ugliest plastic bangles.  I mean, who buys puce plaid over yellow? Gross.  I'm serious.  TRULY horrendous.  Now, not only are these things ugly as sin but they are ONE dollar as opposed to the original $7.00 price tag.  I chortle.  While I am chortling I look around to see that I am a MINIMUM of 40 years older than everyone else in the store.  Hmmm. What do I care if these teeny boppers don't like the old lady laughing at ugly bangles while scooping them up?  I wonder if the clerks behind the counter are even legal?  They look to be about 12.  Middle school drop outs, no doubt.  :(

Anyway, I take a bunch of bangles and dutifully go stand in line behind several young things who are buying clothing that no self-respecting hooker would wear.  Scary.  I think, do their mothers know what they're buying?  I guess they must as the kid has to get dressed in it, right? 

Not a one is buying puce plaid bangles.  Because I am so old and am buying puce plaid, the clerk babies are looking at me funny.  I grin at them and wave my puce plaid at them.  They quickly turn around hoping I will either learn to be socially acceptable or disappear.  Preferably both. Old people should NOT be allowed in public, yanno. 

My turn at the register.  The two kids stand there looking at me funny, chomping their gum.  I refrain from whipping out a mirror so they can see how remarkably cow-like they look.  I am so kind.  :)  One proceeds to ring my sale then tells me that I am welcome to come back in 3 days and already I have $5.00 to spend!  Yippee.  So, I ask her if they will have more puce plaid bangles.  She doesn't have a clue so I thank her and leave her in blissful ignorance.

Ok, I have just checked my oven.  The puce plaid is happily bonding to my clay, I haven't keeled over from fumes, no firemen are on their way, not a helicopter in sight... life is good.  :D

4 comments:

Kathi said...

omg Ipo, you do so have a way of telling stories. I was cracking up at your descriptions of the teeny boppers. I can't way to see the bound and plaided dangles.

MoeArt said...

Hee. Thanks! The bangle is almost ready. Almost. And wait until you see the HUGE mistake I came up with. One of those "great on paper but reality is on NOOOOO!" :D Later on when I get home I will write about it. Sigh....................

Stormy Designs said...

I wanna see!!!

Pörrö said...

Noooooo! I am reading my blogs with morning coffee - changed the habit of reading newspaper to internet way back and have not regretted it a bit. Until this kind of things happen: I just sipped a mouthful of coffee and my friendly rss opened the next unread message. I could have drowned, you know, for all the coffee in my mouth while giggling hysterically.
You are one dangerous lady!

GRIN

Seriously, thank you. I am bit under 40 and get the same treatment here when I browse trough teenager-jewellery shops bargain bin in search of cheap materials. My older kid (10 years) does not want to get inside with me as she is so embarrassed but the little one still does not get the joke and keeps chirping with me blissfully about possibilities for the stuff. Comments like "oh look, this could easily be a nose of gremlin" coming from 6 year old seem to get as icy response than my entuastic "ah, neonbright metal bangles, can I have 50 of these?"...

Lets hope you are not poisoned. Pictures - we want pictures - or it did not happen :D