Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Wine Chronicles

You all thought I forgot you. I did not. It's been unusual around here lately. :O We decided it was time to remodel our master bathroom. Now, you all remember the Tale of the Air Conditioning Fiasco. Now we have THE NEW BATHROOM. Oh boy.  In case you are wondering what that nasty piece of ply is and why it's duct taped to the wall, please look at back posts till you find the story about the a/c doofs.  And you guys think I am pulling your collective legs when I tell you stories.  They are TRUE!  :D  What a day!

So a couple weeks ago the ever-wonderful Charlie came and did his usual fabulous job of demolition. Everything out and the place was spic and span when he left. Ipo had an attack. Her drinking fountain was gone. So, the last two weeks or so have been teaching Ipo that water comes out of all faucets, not just the icky old tub which is now laying in cast iron pieces in a dump somewhere.

And I finally regained my hearing after making the horrendous error of sticking my head in the door just as Charlie's son was swinging his huge sledge hammer into the cast iron tub to break it up. I was certain my ears were bleeding. :(

So, today Charlie returns. He is going to drywall and build a support frame for your new bathtub. It's a square jacuzzi style that you sit in and the water comes up high on your shoulders. Ok, all is good. Charlie and Pooch show up. Don't ask, ok?

Anyhow, they get to work then decide it's time to take the tub in. It has been sitting, upside down in our bedroom for weeks now. The cats think it is their jungle jim. So, Pooch and Charlie drag the thing to the door and guess what? It won't fit through the door. I freak. I am beginning to hear murmurings from the fridge.

Charlie, being the unruffled guy that he is says, no worry! He will just cut the door frame then replace it and patch the cut. Ok, I have tunnel vision when it comes to Charlie. He can do anything. So, I point to the bedroom door and ask, "but what about this?" See the picture? The door sticks out a couple inches over the bathroom door. Charlie gives me side-eye and says, 'well, I'll just close the door." I was hysterical and we both had a grand laugh at Maureen being not only senior but not-too-bright, too. I am now certain that I hear my wine calling me.

So, a couple hours of pounding and sawing and a few expletives from the happy Pooch, they get the tub into the bathroom. Then I hear, "Holy shit!" Uhoh. I refreak and go running into the bathroom.

There is water pouring out of a pipe. WHAT??? Where did this water come from? The water has been off for weeks! But again, Charlie to the rescue. He figures out that it was just standing water in the P trap... which is shaped exactly like a U. Go figure.

Ok, he fixes that and I slink back to the computer waiting for my blood pressure to return to normal. My wine is now audibly shouting at me. It's about 11AM.

Meanwhile, Ipo is hiding in the closet but Allie, who is normally the easiest kitty in the universe has been wandering around the house wailing. I think she wants wine, too.  She's normally such a good kitty I consider sharing.  But only for a second.  It can't be good for her, I rationalize.  :D

So. Things are going well when Charlie gets a phone call. There is a leaky roof on a house he was building. So, he and Pooch clean up the bathroom and will be back tomorrow for Part II. This will entail more pounding and sawing and drywalling and durocking and stuff.

As of this minute, Ipo is in the bathroom trying to paw her way through all the cardboard so she can get into the open walls. I'm telling you, she gets stuck in there and it won't be pretty. Isn't remodeling fun? I'll see you tomorrow. I have to go let my poor abused wine out of the fridge. :D


AlmondJoy said...

>>"Charlie gives me side-eye and says, 'well, I'll just close the door."<<


MoeArt said...

You should have seen his face! It was priceless. I almost died laughing at myself.

AlmondJoy said...

Oh, this was priceless, just priceless.

Melobeau said...

ROFL. Moe, you are something else. Your writing is priceless. Oh my, you ALL deserve some wine, even the fur people. May you all survive.

MoeArt said...

Thanks! Today was better. No disasters. :D