Cleaning and Other Assorted Awful Things

So, the other day I decided that cleaning kitchen drawers and cupboards would be a good idea.  WHERE do I get these thoughts from, anyway?  So, I get out my handy rubber gloves.  A bright yellow pair.  I think this is supposed to make you think you're at the beach or something.  Can't fool me!

I pull out the silverware drawer to start.  The second I take out the silverware holder, Spawn of Satan jumps in the drawer.  Like I need more cat hair there.  Sigh.  I let her sit and decide, well, I want to move some other stuff so she can stay in the drawer.  I think seriously about just closing the drawer.  I don't do it.

In my infinite wisdom I have decided that all our canned goods need to be moved.  Am I am idiot, or what?  They are currently in a floor level cupboard that needs a coal miner's hat with a light to see into.  For some reason the builders decided that they would give the condo owners all this terrific cupboard space under all the counter tops.  Swell.  There is acres of space. You see all that space under the orange plate and the wire basket?  And that ridiculous skinny door to get to it?  Jeez.  :(

 What am I bitching about, you query?  The door leading into these deep and VERY dark cupboards are about 4 inches across.  Really.  Wait...I will go measure!  Don't go away.  :D  Ok, I lied.  It's 5 inches.  I took some pictures.  Now I have to see if I can download the pictures without losing this blog.  Ok, it's blurry but there is the offending 5 inch door.  Yikes.

So, I toddle off to the washer area where I keep rags and cleaning stuff.  I need a towel to kneel on.  Ok, I look at the towel shelf.  Cat hair.  HOW does SOS do it?  How does her fur get in places like that?  Ok, I stop and clean that up.  Now it's an hour later so I go back to the kitchen where SOS has left the silverware drawer is is now happily ensconced in the dark and scary cupboard I want to clean next.

Ok, I leave her there and contemplate just shutting the door and leaving her there until archaeologists find her in another century.  Nope, she is our very own little Spawn so I don't close the door.  Is my halo shiny?  :D

I place my towel in front of the stove and kneel down to remove canned good from around Ipo.  Then I go to the new location which is over our pantry door.  Crap.  Even at 5'9, I need a step stool.  I head to the closet to get it.  Sigh.... Yes, I have to stop and clean up all the cat fur I find in the closet.  Hours go by and I hear the distinct rattle of wine bottles from our fridge.

My kitchen is not getting clean.  And I hear my wine calling me.  I make the serious mistake of opening the freezer to get some ice cubes.  Just GUESS what is in the freezer.  Yep.  Ipo fur.  Now, really.  We do NOT let Ipo play in the freezer.  So, how is it that there is half a cat's worth of hair in there?  Ok, I clean that.  Back to the canned goods.

I get the step stool and remove all the crap from that cupboard.  WHY do I keep this stuff?  I can't remember the last time we had a picnic but I have enough paper plates for the entire of Tropical Lightning.  That's the guys at Schofield barracks.  Hah, see all that space in this picture?  The picnic crap now lives there.  I'll never see it again.  This is a deep cupboard.  I'll leave it for the archaeologists.  ;)

Now, I want you all to just picture me kneeling on my towel, dragging out canned goods around Ipo who is swatting at my arm each and every time.  Then I have to get up, carry the cans to their new home and climb the step ladder.  I do this about 5 billion times.  It is a sticky humid day and I have gone up and down about 17 million steps,to say nothing of getting up and down from the floor the same number of times.  I look lovely, too.  Sweat is pouring from every pore I own and I'm dying of thirst.  Hmmm, wine time yet?  Nope, not yet.  My halo is blinding you by now, no doubt.

Anyway, I finally get all the cans moved and all the cupboards cleaned and bags filled for donations to Big Brothers.  I get the silverware drawer cleaned too then realize I have about 8 more drawers to go.  I look at Ipo, I look at the clock, I look in the mirror and say, screw it.  Wine wins!  I'll do the rest of the drawers tomorrow.  Or not.  :D