Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Being Sick and The Grim Reaper

Ok, I'm starting with the Grim Reaper.  The other day B and I are in the car and I see this truck next to us.  It has a big picture of the Grim Reaper and his scythe.  And dead bugs.  I look again, sure enough, it says, The Grim Reaper.  No, this can NOT be a real company!  So, B says, why don't you see if they're in the Yellow Pages?  Ok, I do.  Sure enough.  Check it out.  Is this a great name for a bug killing company, or what?
And now a word about being sick.  Don't do it.  Being sick sucks.  I am almost never sick.  Really.  In the last 15 years, I have been sick exactly 4 times.  This past week being the 4th.  I am not a happy girl.  And it's all the Hunnibunni's fault.

The man simply will not learn.  Every time he goes to the mainland he comes home sick.  So, a couple weeks ago he was in Napa Valley and sure enough, brought home the Dread California Cooties.  I thought nothing of it as I never catch his cooties.  Hah, the universe paid me for my arrogance.  B was sick as a dog and actually had to go to the doctor and get all kinds of crap to take.  I am fine.  Then, 3 days later, the Cooties got me!  NOOOOO!

For some odd reason, altho I can't breathe, my eyes are running, my muscles hurt and I'm coughing like crazy and have an awful sore throat, I don't feel bad.  Aren't you supposed to feel awful?  So, I think this is a one day affair.  Hah.

I get partial laryngitis.  Crap.  Me.  I can hardly talk.  I could die from that!  I can croak out a little and sound amazingly like some creature from a slasher/sci fi movie.  It's now 4 days later and I am in the throes of...perhaps the cooties are dying???  But, I still sound like the Creature from the Black Lagoon and am coughing like crazy.  I have NO idea why.  My lungs are fine.  All the coughing is from my throat.  Aren't you supposed to cough because your lungs are full of dead and dying cooties?

Now what happens?  Getting over a cold is actually worse than having it, yanno?  Did you ever actually think about how disgusting it is getting over a cold?  Now, all those cooties are in you dying like fruit flies, right?  What happens to their little tiny carcasses?  They have to be ejected from you somehow.  Gick.

So, you now spend several days blowing and snorting and coughing and spitting and it's majorly revolting.  Anyone around you politely tries to pretend they can't hear you but when you look at their slightly bilious color, you know they DID hear you.  Now, on top of being disgusting, you are now embarrassed.  This must be why I rarely get sick.  it's just all too embarrassing.

But, undaunted by the Attack of the Dread California Cooties, I continued to make fun stuff.  Here is one thing.  I'll probably have to dip it in Clorox before I sell it.  Or call The Grim Reaper.  :D

3 comments:

Pammie said...

NO, NO, NO. DO NOT DIP IN CLOROX!
It will eat the silver! Maybe a dip in Lysol instead.
Sorry you got the crud! But California is not to blame. I live there, remember... I ain't got no cooties! LOL

MoeArt said...

Pammie, you is so funny! I have no intention of dipping it into anything. It's fine. I was teasing. :D Nope, it's all California's fault. Hmmm, I must ponder this "ain't got no cooties" comment. :::runs off cackling and coughing::::

Ellie AKA Claylady43 said...

Hee he heee. Cough! Made me laugh! You are such a fun, funny and talented gal! So glad that you are getting well.
Peej