New Glasses

Ok, this is the new year and all. I decide that I need a new prescription as I can't see my small clay work as clearly anymore. So, off I toddles to the eye doctor for my yearly check up which was way overdue. I get a new prescription.

Today, I decided that some weird cleaning was in order. You know? The stuff you do once in a while? Ok, Melissa, maybe never. But *I* do it once in a while. :D Like washing the bi-fold doors because crud has accumulated on top of every single slat. Also, every hinge in the apartment sounded like the local Haunted House so I decided that WD-40 was a dandy idea.

HOLY CRAP! I just noticed that there is no longer an icon so I can post pictures on this blog! WHO STOLE MY ICON??? I will go running to my niece, She will know the answer. I'm getting the vapors. It's almost 11AM. My wine is murmuring already. I can tell it's going to be "One Of Those Days".

Ok, where was I?

WD-40. So, I gets out the can. Now, a long time ago CHAC sent me one of those gun handles for spray cans. It fits on top of spray cans so you can vent all your hostilities by pulling the trigger. Works great. I love it. :) I gets out my lethal WD-40, paper towels and put on my new glasses so I can REALLY see those squeaky hinges.

Off I go, gun in hand. I am busy and happily squirting all the hinges when I feel overcome by the oily fumes. Our entire condo now smells like the car mechanic's garage floor. I go out onto the lanai for some fresh air where I amuse myself by watching our maintenance man tile the steps to the pool.

Now, you gotta understand that there are about a dozen steps. They are wide and have a railing down the middle. I'm getting sidetracked here but I'll go back. Really. :) So, Pat is down there working away. This is a good thing as he has been tiling the steps for about 9 weeks now. I could have had those steps tiled 17 times by now. WHAT is taking so long? I have started calling his project The Zen of Stair Tiling.

Ok, where was I?

WD-40. I go inside and test all the doors. Blessed silence. No squeaky hinges. Wonderful stuff if you live through using it. So then I think, I better do a load of laundry. Oh boy. I still have on my dandy new glasses which enable me to see everything. The tiniest speck no longer escapes my super-vision.

Now, our washer/dryer live behind, yep, double sets of bi-fold doors. Ok, I get the clothes and put them in the washer. As I shut the lid I see...DIRT! On my washer! Now, as you all know, I am the Anal Retentive Queen of the Universe. HOW THE $&**^%()$##^& did DIRT get on my washer?? I demands an answer! :( I am NOT amused so I run off to get my rubber gloves and dirt killer stuff and my Sham Wow. That Vince. ;D My Sham Wows are so old they still say "Made in West Germany".

I am busily cleaning off all the dust, dirt, cat hair and crud from the area where the cover hinges to the machine itself. You guys are laughing. Go look at your washers. Guaranteed it it is full of crud! And that little cup thingy where you are supposed to pour bleach? I was revolted. Because it's such a narrow space where the lid hinges, I can't get to it, so I dump a glass of hot water over it. Hah! That works except all the crud falls into the washer where my clothes are waiting to be washed. Well, at least it will be clean crud.

I am happy, the washer is clean. I purposely avoid looking at the dryer because I KNOW it will be in the same condition and that will be another day. As I am closing the bi-fold I make the HUGE mistake of looking at it through my new glasses. OIKS! MOLD DOTS!

Ok, this is Hawaii. Mold Happens. But as I am deciding how best to murder the mold, I notice that then entire set of doors has dust, dirt, cat hair and crud on top of every single slat. And mold dots. I am pissed. My wine has upgraded itself from murmur to audible speech.

So, I put on my happy yellow rubber gloves and proceed to murder mold. Man, Doing one quadrant of one door took me an hour. All the while I am standing by my dryer which I eventually am forced to look at. Oh, jeez. What a mess. "Tomorrow", I tell it.

Meanwhile, I am thinking, look at all that crap on the shelves over the washer and dryer. What IS all that stuff? About 40 pounds of old t-shirts and towels and stuff. Rags, if you will. So, I get them all down and think, unless I am planning on a new career as rag picker I do not need all these rags. They are all clean but there are so many! So, I put them into a bag to give to Dimitri, our resident manager who will give them to the women's shelter. Ok, if I'm doing that, I might as well go through some stuff and get rid of it. So, I spend the next hour gathering stuff to donate. I give it to Dimitri. One chore is actually done. Back I go to the bi-folds.

One quadrant is delightful. The rest suck. I have had it with crud on bi-fold. I have claying to do! So, I take everything out onto the lanai to dry and there is Pat on the stairs. He has completed approximately a quarter of an inch of tiling. I resist the urge to offer my help and run back inside before I offer and he accepts. My wine is now calling loudly.

I have a self discussion on whether I should go clay or open the last remaining bottle of wine. So far, claying has won. Hopefully, that will last as I'm trying to be good. I have no idea WHY I am doing this to myself, though.

So, I think, I will blog for a while then go clay. I still have on my dandy new glasses which I am slowly deciding weren't such a good idea after all. The computer desk if full of dust, dirt, cat hair and crud. I just cleaned! Ok, so it was a week ago. HOW can it get so dirty! Then I realize, it's the new glasses. I just couldn't see all the crap before. Now I can.

Do you think I can get a refund from my eye doctor? :D