More in The Life Of Me

Oh brother. :( Now, you probably are all thinking, well, about time! You are coming to visit my blog for a smile. Ok, I got smiles for you. At my expense. :(

This whole thing started a couple weeks ago when I, in my infinite stupidity, told B, SURE! I'll go to Waikiki for 2 nights with you! Idiot that I am. Lest you think it's B who is the problem? No. It's small fury creatures. Ipo, to be exact. You've all heard about Ipo. Anyway, our kitties have never been away from me for the entire of their 5 years on the planet. Allie gives me the Evil Eye but Ipo gets serious separation anxiety. She has issues. So, because we know that we decide we'll go to Waikiki then come home a few times to see the kitties so they don't get weird. Sigh............ The best intentions and all that......

Ok, off we go and have a fun time. We make several trips home and the kitties seem okay. This is good. By Monday, Ipo is peeing all over the house. Jeez. She has a bladder infection. Swell, Last time she had one was when we had 2 big earthquakes in the span of about 1 minute. She got a bladder infection. She can't handle stress.

Ok, I clean up cat pee and we take her to the vet. Allie isn't having any of this and the second Ipo gets home, Allie does her snake impression and won't let Ipo near her. The vet also give us TEN days worth of pills the size of human aspirins. Ipo is NOT Pleased. Matter of fact, she hates it.

We spend the next few days shoving pills down Ipo and I suffer at least one puncture wound a day. Then I wise up and dissolve her pill in water then put it into the little syringe the vet gave me. Great idea.

We make Ipo into a kitty burrito and I get to squirt the brown crap into her mouth. Can any more fun be found? Ipo hates this, too. Can't say I blame her but.... Poor B winds up with brown smelly kitty spit all over him. Ipo gets most of the pill and that's all I can stand. I can hear my wine calling at 8AM. :(

In the meantime, while I am not tormenting our cat, I spend time on Farm Town. You all know what Farm Town is, right? It is Face Book's evil way of enslaving us so absolutely nothing gets done all day.

So, today I am finally at the top level and I decide to redecorate my farm. I am happily messing about when I see a couple people appear at my farm. They want me to work so I say ok. I go to one guy's farm. I'm having fun until FB screws up and boots me off. Ok, I go to the other farm and finish there then I go back to my farm. So far, so good, right?

After much deleting and moving trees and stuff, I look at my message button and I have several. I make the serious mistake of going to read them. One is the guy from whose farm I was booted. He wants me to come back. Ok, I can do that. While I am saying I can do this, he shows up at my farm (we all have these cute little avatars, yanno). At the same time my sister Michele shows up as does another girl who wants to work my farm. Simultaneously, the lens on the right side of my glasses takes this moment to leap out of its frame. It lands on the desk intact. I stop every thing and get down on my hands and knees to look for the microscopic screw so I can see again.

This was not one of my better ideas. Not only can I not see to find the screw, the carpet is revolting. Also, Ms Ipo is snoozing under the computer desk and decides she needs to help. So, there I am crawling around looking for this tiny screw. Ipo is nose to nose but has NO idea what we're doing, only that mommy is playing a new game. Cat fur is everywhere, dirt is everywhere, the screw is nowhere. I am not pleased and new messages are appearing one after the other on my computer screen.

Now, in my defense, the carpet is revolting because we are about to renovate and this carpet is being throw out. I'm not spending a lot of time keeping it real clean. I am an idiot!

I have to let everyone at my farm know that I must go and get another pair of glasses before anything else happens. All are amenable except the poor girl working my farm. She's having a terrible time because the program sucks and FB won't fix it. Sigh.....

Now, because several people have pony express computers, the messages I sent them telling them what's going on haven't gotten to them and I now have several more messages telling me I should come work and what am I doing? What am I doing? I shout! I'm crawling around the freaking floor looking for a screw the size of gnat shit! THAT'S what I'm doing! I am starting to think about my wine bottle. I run to the living room and get another pair of glasses.

Then I get messages saying the raspberries are about to die and I better get moving. Ok, I now have 4 places I have to be all at the same time. I go finish my aborted job then head to another. My poor raspberry woman has to give her job to someone else because I can't get there from here. Then, just as I think I might be able to handle, i get another message saying come help!

I'm almost caught up so I go to this farm where I have to watch out for the rampaging bull. I pet the bull, finish the job and all is well. I get back on my hands and knees to look for the screw. The phone starts ringing. Jeez.

I rush to answer the phone and it is the miserable rotten worthless FMS who has harassed us daily for weeks with phone calls 3 times a day 7 days a week. Computer calls. I registered wth donotcall.gov to stop this crap. I wait to speak to a human and when I tell him to stop calling he hangs up in my face. So, I do the *69 thing and get the number. I call. And get the recording that says the phone number is not working. I file a complain with donotcall.gov. We shall see if it helps.

I go back to looking for the screw then decide it isn't worth it. I pour a glass of wine and decide to blog. Life if good. :D