Monday, December 8, 2008

Missing Parts

Oh brother.  My vacuum cleaner is possessed.  Either that or Scotty has beamed up an important part while I was standing around looking stupid.  Should there possibly be anyone out there who doesn't know who Scotty is... Google Star Trek.  The original Star Trek.  None of these imposters.  :D

Back to my vacuum. We are having a party on December 20th, right?  Right.  Bright and big brained human that I am, I decide I will get out above mentioned vacuum and do some of the heavy stuff... like the baseboards and the upholstery, etc.  So, I am cheerfully vacuuming away. We also have wood floors with some rugs.  Naturally, the wood needs one kind of attachment that some perv in vacuum cleaner advertising decided to call  Maid In A Box.  Now... WHAT were they thinking?  Maid in a box?  Really.  That's its name.  Filter Queen is in dire need of a new product namer.   I will ask Santa to send them one.  Maid in a box.  Jeez.

Back to my vacuum.  Ok, I vacuum all the baseboards and the furniture and remove about 476 pounds of cat hair from every surface I can.  Then I put on the Maid In A Box.  I vacuum all the hard floors.  I take OFF the MIAB and put it into its bag that it lives in inside the utility closet.  

I did not go to the bathroom, I did not talk on the phone, I did not go out to lunch, I did not stop to chat with the neighbors, I merely removed the MIAB and put it into the bag it lives in. Then, I go to put the rug attachment (which, oddly, doesn't seem to have its own name) and lo and behold... it has transmorgrified itself and the metal tube thingy no longer fits into the non-maid in a box.  WHAT!?  

WHAT has just occurred?  This is some universal joke, right?  I already vacuumed with the non-MIAB.  I used it!  It fit the pipe, tube, metal thingy just fine!  Now, all of a sudden, it doesn't fit.  Really.  The two ends of the non-MIAB and the metal tube thingy are all of a sudden, mysteriously the same exact size now.  Why me?

Ok, I think... something is amiss here.  Perhaps the evil MIAB somehow ate part of the attachment and it is still stuck onto it?  I toddle off to look.  Nope.  MIAB is sitting in her bag doing nothing.  It has no odd pieces attached.  I search the bag.  Nothing.  I KNOW that this is SOS's fault except... for once, she is sound asleep in my closet and couldn't have done anything. But, being Ipo I think maybe she has osmosed herself through the wall and stolen a vital part of my vacuum cleaner.  Nope.  She is asleep.

I sit on the floor and take the whole thing apart.  I KNOW there is an answer.  Half hour later, there IS no answer.  My vacuum is possessed and has consumed part of itself.  Now I can no longer vacuum unless I want to get down on my hands and knees and clean our 1300+ square foot condo with the brush attachment.  Highly unlikely.

Now, I know there are any number of you who are thinking... oh, it just fell off and you'll find it. HAH!  I am the Anal Retentive Queen of the Universe!  A place for everything and everything in its place is my motto!  No spare vacuum cleaner parts will wallow unnoticed in my home.  I can spot a cat whisker where it doesn't belong.  No way a hunk of Filter Queen is laying around.

So, you ask... what happened?  Nobody knows.  It is one of life's little mysteries.  Up there along with Sputnik is now orbiting part of my vacuum cleaner.  My poor long suffering Hunnibunni will now have to drag me and the evil vacuum into town so the FQ guys can put on another part.  I will insist that they super glue it on.  Maybe some duct tape for extra security? 

I will take Maid In A Box.  She needs an outing. 


Kathi said...

I just gotta know....has the missing part come forth from hiding yet?

MoeArt said...

actually it has. SIgh..... it was masquerading as a solid part of the metal tube thingy. B found it. I asked him where it was and how he got it off. He said, I unscrewed it. UNSCREWED it!? There is a button the you push, then pull off the part. Nothing needs unscrewing. Jeez. Someone has replaced my vacuum with an exact duplicate. With minor differneces. :(

Kathi said...

sheesh Moe....doncha hate it when they do that to ya? unscrew it? oy

MoeArt said...

I especially hate it when it comes equipped with a push button and lever the push and pull. :D

Jenny Patterson said...

I have a filter Queen, and it doesn't have anything that screws on and off! The fairies must have exchanged yours for a look a like

MoeArt said...

You are right, Jenny! I've had Filter Queens for about 35 years. This is a brand new malady. I can't wait until the next time I take it to the FQ store for a tune up. :D

Katie's Clay Corner said...

Bah hahahahahaha.....Glad you won the war with the vacuum!!!

MoeArt said...

Thanks Katie! Me, too. It's awful when you are computer challenged then to be vacuum cleaner challenged, too? YIKES!