Friday, March 1, 2013



Most people have normal pets, yanno?  I have Spawn of Satan and The Bruce.  I do NOT want to know what that says about me.  Sigh....................

So, I was in the kitchen sanding beads when I dropped one.  Naturally, it rolled in between the fridge and the pantry wall, a space of about 5 mms.  Swell.

Lucky I have Icabod Crane fingers.  Not so lucky..I put on my glasses and got out my baby Ott Lite.  Holy sh*t!!  There were cobwebs big enough to swing on in there.  I get palpitations from the horror of it all and run for the vacuum.  Wine.  I need wine.  And I find not one but TWO beads!  We will NOT discuss where the other bead belongs.  :D

So, after frantically scrubbing down the kitchen, I take my maniac cleaning to the living room. One look at The Bruce's perch tells me he and Bhaltair are in dire need of a bath.  I did not used to be a slob.  Really.

Now, most of you know The Bruce.  He's a Wee Highland Cow who hails from bonny Scotland.  He's also a MAJOR pill.  His cousin Bhaltair is a sweetie.

Anyway, I inform the wee cows it's bath time.  Bhaltair says ok and The Bruce raises holy hell.  Thankfully, I am LOTS bigger than both of them so I cart them off to the bath... aka the kitchen sink.

I figure I'll wash this pretty bowl while I'm bathing wee cows.  The Bruce puts up such a fuss that I must resort to Chinese water torture.
You will notice the water runs only upon The Bruce.  Bhaltair is laughing.  :D  Anyway, The Bruce is so awful that I promise him some wine later if he'll stop whining.  He doesn't believe me but submits to drying when I told them to just pretend they were laying on the beach.  Apparently one can fool a wee cow with an unlit candle.  :D
When his wine was not instantly forthcoming, The Bruce got all huffy, went to the cupboard where he keeps his accoutrements, and proceeded to tell me he's leaving home.  I said Byebye!  and went to hold open the front door.  Isn't he cute in his plaid and tam with his very own little suitcase?  It's the one he brought when he emigrated from Scotland.

The poor Bruce.  He is all verklempt that I so willingly held the door open for him to leave.  If ONLY he'd take SOS with him!!!  I'd PAY him!!!  So, he remembers that I promised him wine.  He waits.  I wish I could say... patiently.
So. I crack open some yummy pinot grigio and he lets me have some, too.  :)
Check out that big smile.  One happy Wee Cow.  And BTW, methinks his Scottish mom is making a Wee Cow Tutorial soon!  I'll keep you posted.  Nothing cuter than The Bruce, yanno.
So, all the trauma is over.  The Bruce is clean.  Bhaltair is clean.  My house is clean.  Wine is drunk.  All is right with the world.  And The Bruce is back in his regular spot. 
If only Spawn of Satan were so easy.  Sigh..................